Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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