Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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