Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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