He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
