I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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