Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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