yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
