Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
