dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
