I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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