need another drink. this is the easiest way
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
