hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
