Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
