So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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