Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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