I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Never joke about your clitoris.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
