I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
