How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
