It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
