Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
