Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
