why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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