What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
