remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
