He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
