Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
