Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
