You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
