Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
