My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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