I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So apparently I’m into choking now
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