who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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