you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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