And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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