I wish life had little blips of pornography
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
