Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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