Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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