I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
