Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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