We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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