I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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