In the future we'll all be gay
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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