I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
