i just made my gag reflex go away.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
