It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize