I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
