There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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