It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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