I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
