I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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