WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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