Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
