I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
