I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Randomize
