listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she told me i tasted like america
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
