in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
