he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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