I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
