Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
