Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
did i walk over a car last night?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You pole danced in your parka.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
