u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
