whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
