Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
