and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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