My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
