Your tits are I can't wait for
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
