She said her name was "party"
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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