I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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