I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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