Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
